Honour Our Inner Child

 

If you have been following me in the last couple of weeks you would have noticed my excitement in launching the new book. Some have asked about the photo I chose as a cover because the book is meant for adult learners yet the picture feels like it should be for kids. 

I would like to answer the question here for everyone and hope that it will not only address the question but also pass on my hopes for us all.

This beautiful photo is a gift from my friend Connie very early on in building resources for the lyre community. It remains to be my absolute favorite photo depicting lyre and music. The wonderful carefree and joy it demonstrates is one of the reasons I love it. But underneath, it also embodies a journey I'm going through in my own life. 

I suppose it is not when life quiets down enough that some of us get or rather allow more time for reflection. 

I see this little girl in the picture as the inner child in us and how she should be... beautiful, innocent, carefree, loved, happy. My childhood, although not horrific, was lacking in many things. This lack, over time, ingrained in me a sense to hide and to protect myself in many aspects while at the same time trying to please others around me. To do what I'm told. To let go of the things I desire. To be quiet. Growing up became a process of being busy with things one after the other that pushed away my own needs and buried dreams.

I became what is expected of me. I'm a good person that is able to help and support others. I was shown the importance of being content and not expecting too much. This is not a bad thing. In this way I won't be too disappointed. When I look at my world, I always conclude with thoughts of thankfulness for the life I have. Many of us are in this place. But despite our accomplishments and found joys there is still a longing, a little voice inside that seeks to be heard, longing for something more. This longing made me feel guilty.

I recognized that I will never be fully complete unless I acknowledge my true self. It's not because I turned bad or disliked who I have become. All the directions I have received and taken in my life have led me to be in a good spot. I have a beautiful family. I'm in a free country. I have all the things to live carefree. I dare not complain because I know firsthand that there are many who are not as fortunate as I am. But suppressing our own dreams and selves regardless of where we are in life is a sure way of living in some discontent that doesn’t go away.

Who I truly am is buried beneath all the do's and don'ts and the hushes of a lifetime. I found that my true self is not in the things I have accomplished nor in the things I possessed. It is in that little happy child who viewed the world as beautiful, interesting, full of life, love, wonder and music.

Music is one of the things that I remember as far back as I can. I would hear it in everything. It played for me where I am, yet never fully embodied or given attention. It was hushed as something insignificant and unacceptable.

Pursuit of life and happiness, tells us we need to find our calling. We are urged to leave behind childish things, take on responsibilities and grow up as quickly as we can... yet, after all this time of adulting I was as lost as ever. I came across a teaching that caused me to rethink it all. The Lord tells us that unless we become as a little child we won't see the kingdom of heaven.

Many would say that the qualities of a little child that stands out the most to be worthy of heaven is its humility. Indeed, that's what I was taught growing up. But I have learnt after caring for children that it is far more than this. It is also the innate trust, curiosity, love, joy, energy, persistence, eagerness to learn, to do and to become what is already in them to be.

I think it is the latter that gets hushed in many of us for various reasons and a lot of it with well intentions. But in the end, I feel that in our search for the purpose of life, it will bring us back again to connect to who we are and what we were meant to be... to the thing that lights our life, brings us true joy, makes us all complete... those things we have from the beginning. 

Honoring my innate self involves music. And although I am coming to it at such a late point in life and will never be any great at it, the acceptance, the honoring, the allowing of it to flow now, creates and achieves in me far better things than the accolades I have received in school or at work. This is because honoring self and life is of much more value than achieving a step or a goal. 

Perhaps it is the same with you. Maybe music is that lost part. Perhaps it's painting, building with your hands, mathematics, teaching, cooking, growing things... Whatever it is that you have always loved and find fulfillment but shy away from because you don't think it is right, or that you are not good enough, or even the thoughts of what others would think. We don't have to change our whole lives and bring it upside down to pursue it. We can simply acknowledge and honor this by spending a little time in it and finding our joy.

I have been playing piano for some time in my Church's band and Sunday school. And yet not so long ago, a visiting Pastor recognized me and said, "oh you're the pianist." I immediately denied it and said that I'm not the pianist. I pointed to and named the ones who are properly trained and are far better than me. He gently corrected me by asking if I was the one playing the other night. It was me. Then he asked and it was a piano I was playing. It was. Then he said, "You are a pianist. It is what you do and who you are that makes you one. Not how well you feel you do a thing." What he said next brought me to tears, he said, "You are a musician because God placed music in you, you share it with others and encourage others with it." 

By sharing this, I pray that as you read, it also blesses and encourages you to reach for the things the Good Lord has given you. Let us honor, believe in and love ourselves enough so that we can be true to ourselves and treat others likewise. There are so many things that take away from what we love and enjoy the most including our own thoughts and our fears. It is not selfish to take a little time for the things that lift us up. After all, it is when we are lifted up that we can well encourage and help others up. 

Be brave. Be creative. One little step at a time. Spend small moments here or there. Let go of perfection. What is important is that we are present and engaged to enjoy and celebrate each step. And while we are doing this for ourselves take time to recognize and appreciate others also.

Thank you for reading. Have a wonderful day and happy playing!

xx Sharon

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